Expectations
Have you noticed how sometimes, just by thinking about something, it appears everywhere in your life? Really.
Hey, missed me?
In this edition, we're diving deep into the world of expectations.
These include our own expectations and those from people, companies, politicians, friends, and parents. Often, these expectations aren't met, but we're at our happiest when they are.
Have you noticed how sometimes, just by thinking about something, it appears everywhere in your life? Really.
For example, expecting a new car? When you already know you'll buy an Audi, and after this thought, you start seeing Audi everywhere. No? Try it yourself.
And as usual, if we start exploring the question, there's already a lot of different books, information, researches and studies available. (yes, today will be a lot of references for those)
Have you heard about The Rosenthal Effect? Me either.
The Rosenthal Effect or simply saying “The Expectation Effect” is a psychological phenomenon that demonstrates how a person's expectations contribute to their manifestation in real life.
The Pygmalion Effect
This phenomenon can be explained by the Rosenthal Effect, also known as the Pygmalion effect. It shows how powerful our expectations can be.
It is named after the Greek myth of Pygmalion, the sculptor who fell so much in love with the perfectly beautiful statue he created that the statue came to life.
Clinical psychologist Andrey Gasan says:
The Expectation Effect is a psychological phenomenon where our expectations can influence the actual outcomes, making them more likely to happen.
The psychologists Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson present a view, that has been called into question as a result of later research findings, in their book Pygmalion in the Classroom; borrowing something of the myth by advancing the idea that teachers' expectations of their students affect the students' performance.
Rosenthal and Jacobson held that high expectations lead to better performance and low expectations lead to worse, both effects leading to self-fulfilling prophecy.
This effect is seen in various settings. Another quick example, a manager who expects high performance from their team is likely to see better results, thanks to providing more support and positive feedback. But it's a double-edged sword—low expectations can have a negative impact, too.
Even in healthcare, positive patient expectations can lead to better treatment outcomes, illustrating the tangible effects of a positive mindset.
Carol S. Dweck's "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" explores how our mindset shapes our expectations and achievements. The distinction between fixed and growth mindsets reveals how our beliefs about our abilities influence our success.
Over Expectations
Sometimes, we expect too much. When we don't meet these high expectations, it can be not very pleasant. But it's a chance to learn and adjust our expectations to be more realistic next time.
In the workplace, over-expectations can lead to burnout. A study published in the "Journal of Applied Psychology" found that employees who felt their workload exceeded what they could realistically manage experienced higher stress levels and job dissatisfaction. This underscores the importance of setting realistic goals and expectations at work to maintain motivation and well-being.
Another area where over-expectations have a pronounced effect is in the adoption of technology.
Companies often overestimate the adoption rate of new technologies, leading to inflated expectations and subsequent disappointment when the market does not respond as anticipated. This phenomenon is well-documented in Geoffrey Moore's "Crossing the Chasm," which explores the gap between early adopters and the early majority in the technology adoption lifecycle.
Life example
Casey Neistat's journey from a severe motorcycle accident to running a marathon in under three hours is a testament to the human spirit's resilience and the complexities of over-expectations. After his accident, doctors doubted he would run again.
Casey set an ambitious goal: to run a marathon and complete it in less than three hours—a feat requiring an average pace faster than most trained athletes can sustain
An Impossible Dream
The story starts with a shattered leg and a seemingly impossible dream. After his accident, where his leg was severely injured, requiring a titanium rod insertion, doctors were skeptical of his ever running again. Yet, Casey didn't just aim to run; he aspired to conquer a marathon in under three hours. His initial attempt, filled with confidence but perhaps a touch of naivety, ended in failure, as did several subsequent attempts. Each marathon presented Casey with a stark reality check, challenging his expectations and forcing him to confront the gap between ambition and capability.
Over the years, Casey's marathon attempts became a cycle of setting expectations, facing failure, and revisiting his strategy. He adjusted his lifestyle, intensified his training, and even sought the guidance of an Olympic marathon coach. These substantial adjustments transformed his approach to marathon running and his entire lifestyle. Yet, despite his best efforts and significant sacrifices, the elusive sub-three-hour finish line remained just out of reach.
A Psychological Battle
Casey's marathon quest mirrors the Sisyphus myth, where effort and ambition lead almost to the peak, only for the goal to slip away, necessitating a restart.
This cycle highlights a crucial aspect of over-expectations: the psychological battle between determination and acceptance of reality. It wasn't just about physical training but a mental and emotional marathon, pushing against the limits of what he believed was possible.
Ultimately, Casey's persistence paid off. After numerous attempts and countless miles, he achieved his sub-three-hour marathon, a triumph not just of physical endurance but of overcoming the psychological weight of repeated failures.
Patience. You will find a video in the credit scene. Let’s continue our topic.
False Expectations
False expectations often arise from miscommunications or assumptions. Consider the dynamics of online shopping. Customers may have high expectations based on product descriptions and reviews, only to be disappointed by the reality. This discrepancy can lead to negative reviews and returns, impacting a company's reputation and bottom line. Clear, accurate communication and managing customer expectations are crucial in this context.
In personal relationships, false expectations can lead to conflicts. For example, expecting a partner to know why you're upset without explicit communication is a recipe for misunderstanding. The book "Nonviolent Communication" by Marshall B. Rosenberg highlights the importance of clear, empathetic communication in setting and meeting expectations within relationships.
Research in social psychology underscores the impact of expectations on relationships. A study in the "Journal of Personality and Social Psychology" found that partners with unrealistic expectations about their relationship were more likely to experience dissatisfaction. This research suggests the importance of aligning expectations with reality to foster healthy, fulfilling relationships.
Over-expectations often lead us to set goals that stretch beyond our current capabilities or circumstances, and while ambition is commendable, it requires a balance with realism to avoid disappointment.
Casey's marathon journey also highlights the pitfalls of false expectations, particularly in how others perceive our goals and ambitions. When Casey set out to complete a marathon in under three hours, not only was he battling his own physical limitations, but he also had to navigate the skepticism and doubt from others. This external doubt often fuels false expectations about what we can achieve, leading to a disconnect between our self-perception and how others view our goals.
Casey's experience underscores the importance of clear communication about our ambitions and the necessity of managing our expectations and those of the people around us. By staying true to his goal despite others' doubts, Casey demonstrated the power of resilience and the importance of forging our path, even when faced with skepticism.
This narrative ties back to the essence of "Nonviolent Communication" by Marshall B. Rosenberg, which emphasizes clarity, empathy, and understanding in all forms of communication. Casey's story serves as a reminder that while we cannot control others' expectations of us, we can manage how we communicate our goals and how we let others' perceptions affect us.
Own Expectations
Managing our own expectations is tricky but crucial. I've aimed for a perfect work-life balance and learned that it's not always possible. Adjusting my expectations has helped me feel more satisfied and less stressed.
Books like "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris propose that accepting imperfection and focusing on value-driven actions can help us manage our expectations more effectively. Based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), this approach encourages individuals to pursue meaningful activities that align with their values rather than striving for unattainable standards.
Personal expectations can often lead to overexertion or demotivation in the realm of fitness. A study in "Health Psychology" showed that individuals who set realistic fitness goals were likelier to maintain their exercise routines long-term, highlighting the importance of achievable expectations.
Casey Neistat's marathon saga is a profound study of managing one's own expectations. Initially, his goal to run a marathon in under three hours seemed unattainable, especially considering his serious leg injury from a motorcycle accident. However, Casey's journey from setting this ambitious goal to finally achieving it embodies the delicate balance between ambition and realism that "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris discusses.
His story teaches us about the necessity of adjusting our own expectations in light of personal challenges and setbacks. Despite numerous failed attempts and moments of doubt, Casey's relentless pursuit and adjustment of his training and mindset underscore the principle that managing our expectations isn't about lowering our standards but about aligning them with our evolving circumstances and capabilities.
Casey's marathon endeavor illustrates the concept presented in "Health Psychology," emphasizing the importance of setting realistic and achievable goals. His initial expectation was based on a desire to prove his resilience and capability to himself and the world. By persistently adapting his approach and expectations, Casey achieved his marathon goal and gained invaluable insights into the power of perseverance, the importance of goal adaptability, and the profound impact of owning and managing one's expectations.
In reflecting on Casey Neistat's story within the contexts of false expectations and our own expectations, we understand how aligning our goals with our personal growth and challenges can lead to fulfilling achievements. His journey exemplifies that we can achieve what once seemed impossible through perseverance, adaptability, and a clear understanding of our own expectations.
Reflection Time
Over Expectations: Identify an area where you're aiming too high. How can adjusting your expectations enhance your achievement and satisfaction?
False Expectations: Consider a recent misunderstanding. How can clearer communication prevent future issues?
Own Expectations: Reflect on your personal goals. Are they truly serving you? Adjust one expectation to better align with your current reality.
Post Credit Scene
As we draw the curtains on today’s exploration of the world of expectations, I will leave you with useful materials, books, and videos, as always, for those who love digging deeper.
Videos:
Sisyphus and the Impossible Dream
TED Talk - "The Puzzle of Motivation" by Dan Pink
TED Talk - "Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance" by Angela Duckworth
Books:
“Pygmalion in the Classroom” by psychologists Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson.
“Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg. He offers profound insights into understanding and aligning our expectations with our needs and those of others.
"Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us" by Daniel H. Pink: Explores the transformational power of redefining our expectations around motivation and success.
"Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol S. Dweck: Delve deeper into the growth mindset concept, which fundamentally alters our expectations of ourselves and our capabilities.
"The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick)" by Seth Godin: Offers a refreshing perspective on managing expectations when facing challenges and knowing when persistence pays off.
TV Shows & Movies:
TV Show - "The Crown": Chronicles the reign of Queen Elizabeth II, presenting a masterclass in managing personal and public expectations amidst changing times.
Thanks for your attention.
Vlad
Haha yeah, like ever since you introduced me to Belkins, I see opportunities everywhere for collaboration 😜